1. Sunday night, the San Antonio Spurs beat the Miami Heat 104-87 to take home the NBA championship. The Spurs beat the Heat in not seven, not six, but five games.
2. Sunday night, the San Antonio Spurs beat the Miami Heat 104-87 to take home the NBA championship. Said longtime Heat fans, “I know LeBroom James and Wayne Wade will bounce back.”
3. The nephew of “Duck Dynasty” reality TV star Phil Robertson threw his hat into the ring on Monday for the northeastern Louisiana seat in the U.S. House of Representatives. No word on whether that nephew was Huey, Dewey or Louie.
4. Online payment company PayPal is entering ten new countries this week, including Nigeria. No word on how it plans on digitizing goats.
5. According to a new study, office workers who spend long hours looking at computer screens have changes in their tear fluid similar to people with the disease known as dry eye. So maybe John Boehner needs to spend a little more time in front of his computer.
6. President Obama’s oldest daughter, Malia, was spotted working as a production assistant for a day on the set of a CBS tv show starring Halle Berry. Said President Obama, “Remember all those ‘take you daughter to work days?’ Time to repay the favor, Malia.”
7. “Rob Ford the Musical,” held auditions in Toronto on Monday for an expected opening night in mid-September. And, in related news, Charlie Sheen has gained 300 pounds for an upcoming role.
8. A 3-year-old girl who was badly scarred and wearing an eye-patch because of a pit bull attack was asked to leave a KFC in Mississippi because her appearance upset the other customers. “Right back at you,” said the 3-year-old girl.
9. A professional singer said on Monday she sang through a throat surgery carried out under hypnosis in France to ensure that doctors did not harm her vocal chords. Good news, her vocal chords are fine, bad news, she now thinks she’s a chicken.
10. Florida Governor Rick Scott signed a law Monday allowing for the limited use of a special strain of marijuana to treat epileptic seizures and other diseases. Said residents of Florida, “Does being too hopped up on meth count as ‘other diseases?’”
