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July 13, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich said, if he were asked by Donald Trump to be his running mate it would not be am automatic yes. Presumably because he’d have to finish chewing the hoagie in...
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July 19, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. Germany is planning new legislation to require manufacturers of cars equipped with autopilot to install a black box to help determine responsibility in the event of an accident. As opposed to every...
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July 29, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. Last night, at the Democratic Convention, when speaking of her running mate, Hillary Clinton said, “for those of you just getting to know Tim Kaine.” Although, she could have saved a lot of time by...
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August 22, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. A Donald Trump supporter who identified himself as half-Indian was escorted out of a Trump rally on Thursday because security thought he resembled another man who had disrupted previous rallies....
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August 23, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. Thousands gathered in Mexico City’s Chapultepec Park on Sunday to play Pokemon Go. Said Donald Trump, “It’s the perfect place to catch them all,” adding “what’s Pokemon?” 2. Over the weekend, a...
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January 13, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. Peter R. Rose, a Brooklyn police captain, apologized for remarks he made contrasting date rape with “true stranger rapes,” which he called “the troubling ones.” Staking a strong claim for worst guy...
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February 28, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. Yesterday President Trump said he hasn’t called Russia in ten years. Although I assume by ‘Russia’ he means ‘Tiffany.’ 2. There was a mixup during Sunday night’s Oscar ceremony, that resulted in the...
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May 8, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. A member of the conservative House Freedom Caucus said that it can be difficult to negotiate with President Trump because it’s hard to tell what he’s thinking. So true, if I have one criticism of...
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August 4, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. On Wednesday, White House aide Stephen Miller argued that the inscription on the Statue of Liberty does not matter because it was added at a later date. You know, like Tiffany. 2. According to a...
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January 20, 2020 – Monologue Jokes
1. Madame Tussauds waxwork museum in London announced last week that it had removed figures of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle from their royal exhibit. The last time a room full of royals cleared out...
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